 Why we love guys who look 'str8'
By AJ on 9 May 2007
If, like me, you've ever cruised Gaydar for a bit of trade, you'll doubtless have come across the term "str8 acting". Men who don't subscribe to the usual definition of 'gay', for whatever reason - whether it's a certain degree of shame or just a need to buck the usual stereotype altogether and avoid any risk of being seen as camp or queer. Certainly life seems to be a lot easier in some ways when you pass uncommented on through the straight world, due to your masculine image and total absence of effeminate mannerisms.
Of course, the straight acting label has often been controversial in the LGBT community, as it invokes a certain amount of homophobia - but here in the porn world, we're a little more open minded. You see, pornography can encourage us to harmlessly fetishize practically anything, and straight acting, straight looking men are prime bait for this - ripe for filthy fantasies. You look at them and see an unattainable straight dude, while knowing that as soon as that bedroom door is closed, they seriously love the cock.
But even within the straight acting ranks of hidden homos, there's still a plethora of hot and dirty guises to attract pervy queers like me. Both in and out of porn - the way to really make our cocks hard is to dress like we won't ever see yours - and here's our top 5 favourite straight types...
1) Scallies
Oh let us count the ways in which we love a bit of rough in sportswear and a cap. Whenever we walk through the council estates, we have to stop ourselves gazing longingly at tracky bottom clad crotch bulges and arses. It doesn't put us off that most of these guys would bottle us as soon as look at us if they knew what we were thinking.
You see, gay porn has shown us the truth - once these chav lads are out of sight of their mates, they turn those baseball caps around and suck cock like there's no tomorrow. No, really. The ultimate in straight machismo images, scallies are dead fun to dress up as for a bit of naughty sex - just add a cap and trainers, and you're ready to fuck.
Why not pop down to London's scally clubnight RudeBoyz (see photo) for some chav on chav action? With amateur scally stripteases, and hot and horny willing chav lads, you're practically guaranteed to get your end away one way or another. Or check out our current favourite scally porno: Barebacking Scallies (of course!)
2) Skaters
We think skater boys are absolutely shit hot, and in recent days, porn most definitely agrees. I'm not sure what it is about them - maybe it's the lanky, fit bodies in huge oversized jeans, slung low enough to see their underwear. And what underwear it is - often lovely fitted stuff that does those tight little arses justice. Many a time we've followed a skater lad dreamily down the road, just willing those trousers to drop the last couple of inches and fall off altogether.
Anyway, if you're under 30, dressing as a skater is most definitely a good way to pass as straight, as it's such a prolific and non gay fashion (how many gays embrace really loose clothing? Huh?) that you'll probably actually find girls eying you up. Blend in among the actual skaters and witness their unique sex appeal close up - all that action and skill really makes my cock throb.
Our all time favourite gay skaters are the pair in the anti discrimination advert 'You Never Know' - which represents everything we find sexy about straight acting men. If you want it a bit more hardcore, however, Barebacking Skaters is unmissable.
3) Construction Workers
I've already written about how straight looking builders get our mouths watering, especially when they're working away on a hot summer's day, muscles rippling in the sun, big hands handling heavy tools (power tools, you pervert), grubby clothing and sweaty skin just begging to be grappled with in a dirty, sleazy fuck session. And don't even get us started on how sexy those hard hats are.
It's easy to have fun with sexy construction worker fashion - just grab a pair of jeans, a white wifebeater and a helmet - and, if you really want to go to town, a fluoro jacket and toolbelt. You'll like as manly as can be, and if you roll around in some dirt beforehand and get all sweaty, the sex is bound to be red hot - see Working Day for undisputable evidence.
4) Footballers
Everyone likes a nice buff body to fondle, and although scallies are skinny and skaters are toned, none are quite so buff and beautiful as sportsmen - namely, footballers. The bulging leg muscles in tiny shorts, the extreme training the pros have to do to be at the top of their game, the matching kits... not to mention the legions of very heterosexual footie fans. All that team spirit and sporty emotion runs high in the heat of the match - and here's nothing quite as sexy as big straight men jumping on top of one another with kisses and cuddles and general homoerotic tomfoolery when they score.
It's enormously fun dressing up in football kits and going to the park for a kickabout - noone ever suspects football players of being gay, do they? There's certainly not any openly gay pro players. But all that sexy manflesh is bound to get you in the mood for some sporty porn though, so be sure to check out our favourite movie Soccer Boy for all your naked footballer needs.
5) Gangstas
It's wrong, but it's oh so right. Surely we don't need to explain our big time lust for big hot, arrogant, dangerous gangster type dudes - perhaps the ultimate in straight man fantasies. It's not possible to look much more hetero than these guys, apart from the provocative low riding jeans fashion they often share with skaters, which just screams "Take My Arse Now".
Sadly, actual gay gangstas are rarer than we'd like, so we'll have to make do with ogling the ones we see around town with 'bitches and hos' hanging off their arms. There's plenty of black dudes for us to perv over in porn, but we're currently admiring with the stunning specimens in Bone Thugs, who do stunning solo jerk off scenes that feel voyeuristic and forbidden, with their giant cocks all up in yer face... like mace... cos they're ace.
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