My Dear Friends,

It's Fifi time again, and oh dear, I've already ruffled a few feathers, despite only being here for a couple of weeks. I thought the Brits were tough, humorous characters, and the only people here who get offended easily are Muslim nuts protesting about cartoons. I believed I'd escaped politically correct assholes by leaving LA. But nope, I've gone and upset the Brits. Well, some of them anyway. It turns out that a Brit porn forum called BGAFD is a hotbed of PC-ness, and some of the locals haven't taken kindly to my arrival, or to my speaking my mind. Not that I care of course! You all know that I love controversy.

One guy on the forum suggested that I wouldn't insult Iranians like I insult Brits. Oh no? We're talking about a country where women get the shit kicked out of them by the cops for not covering their heads! I refuse to grace any country with my presence, if I don't have the right to be gang-ass-fucked and drenched in cum. On camera. For money. So screw Iran.

But to be fair, many of the Brits have welcomed me with open arms, and I'm settling in nicely. And I've been catching up with people I met in LA, like the wonderful Ben Dover (the only Brit guy who ever gave me an orgasm) and the delectable Kelly Steele, who I've worked with on many occasions. Ben tells me he's going to launch his own underwear range! Watch this space for more details. While most of the industry guys here wouldn't know which end of a video camera to point at the action, I've been embraced by the minority who appreciate that I, Fifi La Douche, intend to shake up this industry and change it forever. The few professionals around here are glad I've arrived, but the amateurs see me as a threat to their livelihood - which of course, I am.

I've already turned one of my rooms into a small studio, and will start shooting my own material this week. The talent are lining up to be auditioned, and I have a full shooting schedule over the next several days, which I'll report on in my next letter.

Until then my angels,

Stay horny!

Fifi xXx